Semblance

by Thomas John Cadrin

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03:42
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03:11
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released November 26, 2008

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Thomas John Cadrin Boston, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Catalyst
You've got your wits about you
in the middle of the road like
no deer in headlights and
I would trade every ounce of light
upon your precious, little pretty face
for an inch of two to the right.

Now, don't be afraid
of this love cause it's humanly/lovely
and I know you need time
but from time I hide

So let me be your catalyst
changing my way up through
your skin and bones to
make you feel alive and
help me to breathe again
over and over

So don't you put that look back on your face
and smile for me.
I've got your eyes, all right.
I've got your eyes in sight.

Don't make me yell or make me hurt
Don't make things any worse
Just put that smile back on.
Track Name: Time To Waste
I try not to listen to myself too much
cause sometimes i drown out my voice with my thoughts
then it happens i lose sense of self
and return to fallen position
I'm much more natural when I'm down

I've got this time to waste
and i might as well waste it well
cause i am always dealing with my mind
and this is the only way that i know how to get by

i was traveling north when the feeling of fall wouldn't subside and
i was up so high i could hear the weather rolling by
and the cotton ball clouds were soaking up the sky
till all the blue was gone and the sun was a lie

come one come all
im inviting the rebellion
and it's myself against thoughts
and they go on and on

now the leaves on the street have all been stripped clean
from the jet stream ripping past with steel and fiberglass
and they test me
who was i when i was who i want to be
is this me or is this me?
Track Name: Unlikely Human Condition
I'm too late for love and
too late for unattached action
But I get a small satisfaction
from these little uninvited rendezvous
and I know so do you so don't
walk away this time.

The moon is like a street light
slightly burnt out on the inside
but it goes on and on day and night
as it's brown and wet outside and
the sky is seeping mist from its
inside and out of its mouth -
the mist shoots me down -
the mist from its mouth shoots me down.

Cause I wasn't built for happiness and
this isn't helping to medication process
there's a recess of sadness that fills my mind
day and night.

They say it's medically and it's on the inside
they say that it may last awhile and
there's nothing we do except to wait it out.

But I really want to know:
will you wade with me into the sea?
And will you hold my hand and drown with me?
Let's walk out and hold our breath
Track Name: Losing A Better Place
Just bite your lip
and hold your tongue
see what's ahead of your cause
fore too long you might
know someone else in your shoes.
But now I'm so floored
by your simple melodies and
interminglings, and your eyes tell it all.

you're losing a better place
and myself along the way

now that you're gone
i've got no need for these calls or
awkward stumblings through our past
cause they mean nothing at all.
so stay to whats true, the honest truth,
not what they say to do
use your heart as a compass and you can have it all

you're losing a better place and
myself along the way.

i was so concerned about
what you were that i didnt seem to learn
that your heart was an offer
that i just ignored.

nothing's as bad as it seems
when you take this whole thing apart to
see what it means.
you've got your whole life ahead
so live it while you can.
just bite your lip and hold your tongue and
maybe we can have it all.
Track Name: Made Again
Open up your mind and see that
the world is in love with you
it's the truth, but your cloudy eyes
can't see what's in front of you

put down your life
it's suffocating in your hands
just let go and know that your past
doesn't show where you're going to land

don't ever get comfortable
don't ever settle in
try to forget yourself
and the you for someone else
it's time to be made again.

now i know I'm not one to speak but
i spent a week with just me and me
and i learned if i give myself a turn
there's a way for me to set me free
and open my mind and move those
same clouds from off of my eyes.

I know it's hard but I still try
to keep from myself
my old life.
Don't ever get comfortable
don't ever settle in
just forget yourself
it's time to be made again.
Track Name: Impress Me
This life isn't so when I imagine myself
always at the top of my game
when and where I can sow and
harvest the happiness, but
this life just isn't so

oh, five whole months and not
a whole lot has changed
it's like I'm running away from
my morning shadow backwards
with the words I'm running backwards.

Do you believe in anything that I say
it's so hard to believe when I don't even
impress me
You wouldn't believe with all these pills
that I'm still standing still
it's so hard to believe when I don't even
impress me

It's getting cold and
changing the time is something I'd
rather not tell because I am
weak and without the sun
I am a freak

And running away seems so much harder than
sticking around, you know,
you seem to surprise yourself when you
don't even know your own name.
When I'm running away,
I won't look back to see your face.
Track Name: Me In Your Shoes
I knew from the start you were wrong
when you said you ready to fall and
willing to be not like yourself but
I guess you figured it out,
what's that like?

I came across you lying over your bed
involuntarily, in a mess of your insides
among your devices.
But there was a smile on your face
you're such a waste now,
what happened to the you I knew?

There you are by yourself
now no one can touch you but
no one wants to.
get up now, we can find our way out
across the fields

Twitch, twitch, twitch
some dead weight and a drunk man
don't go well when time isn't in your hands.

Can you see the sky or
are your pupils too dialated?
What's life look like, what's life like for you?
No, I wish it weren't you, I wish it were me
in your shoes.
Track Name: Contradicting Myself
God only knows what I want
God only knows what I need
but I tend to be a tad bit unruly
when I'm knee deep in time.

I have been sober for weeks
and those times still find their way
into my life and don't allow
such things as seeing what's bright

and this clarity is killing me
it's hard enough to even fight
but it's harder when you fight your own mind
now I can hear the birds and see that sky
don't start a war if you can't win the fight.

It's not the lust that keeps me here
but it's the disgust that brings me back
and when I can see clearly in the evening
I want to forget my name

and come back to a well known place
where everything never looks the same
where the lights from outside are much more tempting
and when I'm there

I think I love to lose my name
but this love's deceptive and it plays games
I never knew you could miss your own name
I never knew.
Track Name: Separation Situation
I need some separation from the situation
I'm gonna lay my life out in front of me
Cause its the problem with proximity that
I can't deal with.
Take your lust tactics to the window
and show them what you want to be
all that's through the glass is deceiving,
filing lines up your nose.

so let me step away, just being so close
makes me narrow sighted and in a sense
I sense a certain degree of immediacy that
i shouldn't deal with when making
these kinds of choices.

I'm off and out to find the next thing that moves
strike a conversation about anything but you and i
what we were was a lie, or so it seems right now.

Now do you believe in me,
ms sweet denise?
Caught by the moon with audience of stars
with her mother and father's car
she won't get as far as she'd hoped she'd be.